Fitting In

Ever since I was a little girl my parents used to ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up. While my brother, the ideal child in our family, had answers varying from being an astronaut to the future Prime Minister of India, me being the ignorant self I was used to reply with the same old “Who the hell knows?!” All i wanted was to be known. And what better than being part of the glamour world that would increase my chances by a 99 percent, right?

Looking back at it now I realize that it wasn’t being one of the gorgeous fashion icons that filled the glossy pages of Vogue or being one of the divas that the screaming fans adored that gave me the drive to dare to dream to be one of them. It was the feeling that would come along with it. The feeling of fitting in.

Now how many of us can relate to that? I bet more than half. You can tell me that you don’t care about what society thinks. You can tell me that you are perfectly content with who you are but at the end of the day, you and I both know that you would be stalking someone’s feed wondering why your life isn’t half as good as theirs. And that’s perfectly alright. It’s not being abnormal and it doesn’t yell ” stalker alert”(unless you channel Joe). We get deluded by those highlights that we try to change who we are just so that we can be one of them. We drift away from our roots just so that we can fit in.

If I’m being completely honest, there have been instances when I’ve hit my lows too. There have been times when loneliness overpowered me. I tried to change the way I act and behave just so that I could be accepted by the squad that I so craved to be part of. And guess what? The loneliness doesn’t die. It resurfaces again that it ends up as a humming in the background. If you have that same humming I want you to know that you are not alone. It’s okay to have that inner voice screaming in your ahead “If changing who I am is what it takes to be one of them, screw it. Let’s do it!” Scratch that. It’s not okay. Your quirkiness, your weirdness is what sets you apart from the rest of the world and the world needs that! If you conformed, you wouldn’t be half the person you are today. Do you really want to be someone else’s plastic copy? I hope not.

So I have this friend (who shall remain unnamed) who once asked me ” Daisy, why don’t I have a 1000+ followers on Instagram ? Why is it that my posts rarely gets any likes or comments? Maybe Im not pretty enough or my style isn’t trendy enough.” And honestly, that’s unhealthy. Does your worthiness as a person gets validated by the likes, comments and followers? You may have a 1000+ followers but how many of them would you actually rely on when you are in trouble? One? Maybe two? Max five? There is always a Behind The Scenes that is playing in everyone’s life. You just don’t see it. So next time your self esteem dips a little lower, you need a reality check up. And so do I.

Sometimes sharing our experience and opening up helps. I know that it sounds lame and corny, like the voice that’s inside my head screaming not to hit the publish button but it’s important. It’s important to know that you are not alone. It’s important to know that there are others too who are going through this phase.