When I was five I had this pink ballerina tutu which I used to wear everywhere. It was pink and sparkly and made me feel as dainty as a princess, what’s not to adore! The fact that physique changes with time never hit me so i created a huge fuss when my mom gave it away with the rest of my outgrown clothes to charity. Now that I’m 17, it’s not just the materialistic things that I’ve outgrown. It’s the people too. We all have had that one friend in elementary school with whom we vowed to be bffs and made friendship bracelets with. But now we barely say a hi when we cross each at the school halls. Or maybe that high school sweetheart we now vow to marry but when we hit our twenties we might look back and laugh. Or luckily not;) Living in this high tech and fast pacing world it’s normal to meet new people everyday and let them into our zone. We get infatuated by their glossy faces and their even glossier lifestyles that we might turn a blind eye to the fact that some of them might be toxins.
Toxic people come into our lives in all shapes and sizes. The one thing they have in common is the power to drain the energy out of you. They can be family, close friends or people you barely know. Toxic people aim to prey on the emotionally weak people as it’s easier to guilt them into sticking around. They tend to live their lives through yours, expecting you to deal with all their bullshit and that’s just TOXIC!
Even your own family can be toxic or controlling. Now this includes all the typical Indian aunties who uses every opportunity to bring you mentally down. “How much did you score in your boards?” “Didn’t you score a 90+?” Why commerce/humanities over science stream?” “ Engineering or medicine?” They keep throwing such questions at you like a never ending racquetball tournament and a family function which was supposed to be fun leaves you stressed and suffocated before it even started. Parents too might tend to act entitled to control you and use your birth certificate as a justification. But you must realize that you are in charge of your life and not them. If you are legally an adult and they still try to control you, moving on is the right thing to do.
Moving on is a tough battle. Yes, it sucks. A lot. Cutting off contact especially with someone you have known and loved your entire life is hard. Loneliness is going to hit you at the unexpected and you might find yourself sliding back into their DMs. And that’s probably when your best friend has to take extreme measures and change all your passwords(speaking from true experience). It’s not the person you miss, it’s the feeling of belongingness. But you have got to realize that they exploited your kindness and took you for granted. Why? Because you let them and fell for their sorry ass apologies. You need to stop letting others use you as a bait. Stop shouldering the blame and STOP taking responsibility for their actions. You don’t owe them anything. You owe yourself happiness and that’s not going to happen if you let these toxins control you like puppets.
What I’m about to share with you might sound corny and silly but trust me it helps. Get a piece of paper and write down the names of the people you spend most your time with. Now add a postive or a negative sign next to their names depending on the impact they leave in your life. Now cross out all the names with the negative sign. Sounds harsh? Maybe. But if you want to feel empowered and blissful, this is your golden rule.
In life you get to make either choice, 1) Make the easy choice and live the hard life 2) Make the hard choice and live the easy life. It’s your call to make. The world was made for you to explore. Go do that instead of hogging all the comfort food and wasting Kleenex over your “puppet masters “. Smh
The Daisy Digest 